so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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