Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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