Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
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