i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I need water and some morals
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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