my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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