I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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