im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
