what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
The uberlube is also flammable
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
