ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize