apparently the secret to your success is patron
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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