I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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