I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i don't like sucking hair
Do you still have your period?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
