This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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