sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
