is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
