Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
