Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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