i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
