I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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