its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
