and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
