He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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