Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Why can't burritos get me drunk
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
