My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
