I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
She made me pour olive oil on her.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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