he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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