On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
