I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
