My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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