dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
