He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
