do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i dont even know how to be here
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
