yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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