I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize