He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
