I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
