i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
