bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
