i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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