it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
