Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
