I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize