you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
