I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
