we made out on top of his cat.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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