Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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