My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
