so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
