looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
