every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize
