weddingsv make me drug and hornr
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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