why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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