it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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