She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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