Is it because I queefed?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
