Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
