Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize