Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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