You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Acid is not a monday night drug
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
