Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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