I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
