The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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